Tuesday, October 31, 2006

NBA 06-07 Preview - The East

Tonight is Opening Night for the 06-07 NBA season, so I thought I'd share some predictions and observations:

Eastern Conference
Miami HEAT - I am extremely bias towards these guys since I've been fanatically following them since the Sparrow-Seikaly-Sunvold days so Ill keep it short and sweet. The Heat begin defense of the first title in franchise history with all their impact players back in the fold. D Wade has established himself as the premier clutch player in the league. Honestly, who would rather have with the ball in his hands with the game on the line? (Maybe Kobe if you are coming from behind - but that's a different story altogether). Even with Shaq's Opening night scheduled for its' customary tip-off in mid-April, the Heat are clearly the team to beat in the conference.

Cleveland Cavs - Lebron returns for his senior season after giving the Pistons all they could handle in last year's conference semis. Larry "St. Loo" Hughes is healthy and ready to try to be the Pipp to the King's 23. Throw in Z in the middle, even with the injured foot and an eerie resemblance to Snuffaluffagus, and you've got a team that could be as good as any north of SoBe.

Chicago Bulls - they are the Luke Wilson of the NBA. They've been surprisingly solid the past few years flyin under the radar and out of the playoffs in the first round (Bottle Rocket, Royal Tenenbaums), but how will they do now that they've got top billing? Im guessin a mix of "Old School" and "Alex and Emma" as Big Ben excites the crowd and adds some toughness, but who do they go to with the game on the line?

Detroit Pistons - The bad news? the Pistons still may have the best 4 in the East without Big Ben but they'll miss the Fro's toughness and effort more than I think Joe D estimated when he let him go to ChiTown. The undrafted 4-time Defensive Player of the Year played with a chip on his shoulder the size of which rivaled the hair on his head and it remains to be seen if Chauncey, Rip, Tayshaun, and Sheed can keep up the intensity.
The good news? if their season goes up in flames in the 1st round of the playoffs, you think anyone in Motown will notice the smell over the usual scent of burning cars?

New Jersey Nets - J-Kidd, Vince, and Jeff might be the best 1-3 combo in the league but this ain't NBA Jam my friends. Collins twin #1 and Nenad Krstic (do Nets fans chant "Go Nad"?) don't exactly strike fear in the hearts of opposing frontcourts, so unless the 10 point hot spot is on the Commish's to-do list, the Nets aren't getting past the 1st round.

Wizards - Gilbert Arenas is the John Locke of the NBA, do NOT tell him what he can't do! Every off-season he convinces himself that there is a conspiracy against him ( this time around he claims Team USA never gave him a fair shot at making the squad) and uses it as inspiration for the season. The self proclaimed "Eastern Conference Assassin" and "Mr. Game 5" (are those really compliments?) combined with Antawn and Caron should be enough to get the Wiz back to the playoffs.

Pacers - the squad with the most fight in the league is more athletic after shipping Austin "the $40 million man" Croshere to Dallas for Marquis Daniels. SJax provides firepower at the SF spot (get it?) and Jermaine "Giant Baby" O'Neal is still a legit all-star in the middle. Indy is the Grizz of the East, solid core but just not good enough to get into the upper echelon. Is it ironic that someone tried to hit a speedy Pacer with a car? (if you are trying to think of the difference between irony and coincidence right now - kill yourself)

Raptors - the UN North has 4 Euroleague players and "Baby Turtle" Bosh in the low post. MoPete is underrated but the Rap Pack need TJ Ford to go back to his Tex form if they are going to make a run at the playoffs.

76ers - AI has a bigger entourage than Vinnie Chase, unfortunately he's got a Mandy Moore sized load to carry on his back. C-Webb is a shadow of his former self and Kyle Kutcher is hoisting 3s like he's Antoine Walker. It's gonna be hard to blame this one on T.O but I have a feeling the Philly fans will find a way.

Orlando Magic - Dwight Howard should be workin at Halloween Horror Nights because he is a beast! Jameer Nelson was a nice surprise last year but I'm not ready to crown him yet and Hedo Turkoglu, who if it weren't for sharing a hotel elevator with me would never get recognized in O-Town, is underappreciated. Word is that Grant Hill is healthy, no really, so he should prove a potent scoring threat for the first half of Opening Night. I'd call him Grant "Over the Hill" but I'm afraid he'd break his ankle on the way down.

Celtics - Paul Pierece is like Ed Norton, one top-notch performace after another but nothing to show for it. "Extremely accurate when given time and space but below average when you put pressure on him" - it's not a good thing when your 2nd best player, Wally Szczerbiak, has an identical scouting report to Drew Bledsoe. Maybe Danny AInge should stop brain-typing his players and start using his own.

NY Knicks - Starbury, Franchise, Jamal Crawford, QRich - so much scoring right? Too bad for Isiah that this isn't NBA Live. Nice move signing Jared Jeffries, he's the 6-11, 238 pound defensive presence they were sorely lacking, plus when Eddy Curry finishes his 5th rack of ribs, he won't have to look far for some toothpicks.

Milwaukee Bucks - Villaneuva may add something and its too early to judge on Bogut, but this team has a long way to go. They took their shot with Ray, Sam, and Big Dog and came up short and are paying for it now. I can see them playing scrappy ball and being the kid on the playground who isn't that good but pisses you off because he tries so hard on D.

Charlotte Bobcats - Adam Morrison is the hot pick for ROY, that is if he deoesn't sprain an ankle slipping in a pool of his own tears. The Cats have stuck to the Bulls strategy, draft established college players while the other teams nab the 6-10 swingman who can jump out of the gym but averaged 4.2 ppg in school. If healthy, Felton, GWall, Morrison, Emeka and Brezec could give some teams more than they expect when they visit MJ's house.

Atlanta Hawks - The team's owners were so divided on whether to trade for and max out Joe Johnson that the team had to be sold. The most entertaining thing about the Faux-Hawks this year will be the announcers trying to pronounce Zaza Pachulia's name.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Blogmogger Movie Grading Scale

With the eagerly-anticipated Borat movie coming out this weekend, and a review of it likely to be posted this weekend, I figured that it was the right time for me to outline the scale that my brother and I use when grading movies. The reason for this is because, as opposed to the hippy, liberal "B+" curve that everyone has adopted in recent years (and which I currently benefit from at my grad school), we use a strict "C" curve, meaning that the average grade that we give to movies is a "C". Though the reasons that we do this are myriad, the main one is that a couple of summers ago, we were giving every movie we saw "B+"s, so we needed to re-balance the scale out.

The criteria we grade on aren't really set in stone. Some of them include:

Genre appropriateness--did a comedy make us laugh, did a drama...err...have drama?

Acting/Directing--was there an amazingly good performance in there? An amazingly bad one? These things count.

Creativity--Is this something that we've seen before in a different wrapper?

Lack of "what the fuck?" scenes--See Syriana if you need to know what a "what the fuck?" scene is

Excellent lines to use for the future--Perhaps a somewhat undervalued category. Does the movie have a few lines that you and your buddies can start using?

Expectations going in--For example, Borat has pretty high expectations since Borat was so awesome on Ali G. However, we thought that Harold and Kumar was going to be absolute shit, yet it surprised. Movies should get points for that.

Replay value--probably the most important criteria. is this a movie that you can watch again...and again...and again without getting tired of it?

These all come into play when we make these decisions. And, hopefully, at some point, we'll get reviews up for the examples I'm going to provide. So without further adieu, here's the scale:

"A+" : A masterpiece of a film. You come out of the theater thinking "Wow, that was fucking incredible!"...and the feeling continues upon subsequent viewings. A movie that never gets old, has amazing acting, and really is enjoyable from start to finish. High innovation abounds--at least a scene or 2 where you find yourself saying "whoever made this is a fucking genius". If someone tells you, "Oh, I haven't seen that movie before--is it good?", you immediately begin to have serious doubts as to whether or not you could ever be friends with that person. That's how fucking good an A+ movie has to be. Also has to be something a little intangible that says "this is what an A+ movie is supposed to be", though since it's intangible, I'm not going to pull a Joe Theismann and try to explain what it is. You'll know it if you see it.

Examples: A Few Good Men, Dumb and Dumber, Return of the Jedi

"A": A really, really great film, but lacks that little something extra to make it an A+. Needs great acting, direction, dialogue, and replay value. Solid "A" movies are increasingly rare, and thus an "A" grade should not be handed out like hooker cards on the Vegas Strip. When someone says "Hey, let's pop in __________", there is not only no hesitation on your part, but also elicits a "Yeeeaaah!" or "Fuck yeah!". You and your buddies can recite multiple lines from the film and know exactly what the fuck you're talking about, other people be damned. They would know the lines had they watched the movie, so if they don't get the reference, the suck anyway.

Examples: Miracle, Pirates of the Carribean, Major League, Caddyshack, Crimson Tide, Swingers, Anchorman, The Count of Monte Christo, 40-Year Old Virgin, Back to the Future

"A-": A great film, definitely well worth your money. Has everything that an "A" film has, but there might be a blemish or two on it, in terms of a couple of scenes/jokes that don't work, or a "what the fuck was that?" moment where the pacing is off. Still, a very enjoyable film that should provide entertainment for you and your buddies for years to come.

Examples: Super Troopers, the Original Matrix, It's All Gone Pete Tong, Made, Office Space, Ace Ventura II, Total Recall, Wedding Crashers

"B+": Still a very good film. Glad you saw it in the theaters instead of waiting for the DVD. A movie that you were excited to see that somehow exceeded fairly high expectations. Good use of jokes/drama/suspense. Good acting, direction. Maybe a few more fuck-ups than an "A-" movie. Maybe one actor that is "mailing it in" for the film takes away from it a bit. Still, though, absolutely a good movie.

Examples: BeerFest, Grandma's Boy (Under the Influence), Harold & Kumar, Major League II, Ace Ventura I, the original Star Wars (it's not THAT good folks), Private Parts, Bottle Rocket, Breakfast Club

"B": A good film. Not great, but good. Maybe a bit less than what you were expecting based on what you had read/heard. Good acting, dialogue, directing. Maybe a few too many awkward moments, kind of like a movie version of a Jay Leno interview with an otherwise entertaining star. These are the movies that you can see once in the theater, think "It was good, probably glad I saw it here instead of on DVD." You don't want to see this movie again until it comes out on HBO. That said, when it finally does come out on HBO, you can get a little excited, like, "Oh good, I've been wanting to see that again with my buddies at home so that we can do some play-by-play on it".

Examples: Superman Returns, The Manchurian Candidate, Tango & Cash, The Rookie, The American President, Dave

"B-": An above-average film. A "B-" is like a girl that you call after you meet her at a bar, only to find that when she shows up at your place, she's maybe about a 6 or so. You aren't thrilled...but you're not slamming the door in her face and diving for cover, either. More often than not, this is a movie that you had big hopes for, but either failed to deliver or went in a totally different direction than you thought that left you thinking "That was OK, but could've been better". However, there is the odd movie that you have lower expectations for, yet somehow manages to deliver (see Click). Maybe one absolute tank job by a lead actor that sinks the movie. Can maybe watch it once a year, twice if sufficiently drunk.

Examples: Click, The first Lord of the Rings movie, Ocean's 12, DaVinci Code, Cars (I liked it the first time when it was called Doc Hollywood), Bruce Almighty

"C+": Barely above average. Generally good, formulaic fun that somehow does things a little bit better to make it somehow better than the average movie. No stand-out performances, acting and directing maybe slightly above average. Still entertaining, though as you're leaving the theater, you wonder if it was worth the $9, or if you would've been better off renting it on DVD in the first place. Still a decent effort at a movie, if a bit disappointing. Maybe has some novelty value for re-watching--after a couple of years, and only if you and your buddies are sufficiently hammered to make an outrageous commentary.

Examples: You, Me, and Dupree, Snakes on a Plane (towards the beginning before you get drunk), Shade, The Paper Chase, Passenger 57

"C": The average movie. Average directing, acting, and writing. I guess it can be enjoyable to some people, but if you've seen a lot of movies, it's pretty formulaic and dull. Most romantic comedies fall at this level or below, even though every time a woman sees a new romantic comedy, the studio is able to trick her into thinking that she's never seen it before. A lot of times these end up being "borderline" theater movies--you really don't want to go see it in theaters, but you have nothing else to do, so you see it anyway. Consequently, most of the time you wish you'd waited for it on DVD. Often a tough grade to assign because you want to give them either a C+ or C-.

Examples: Along Came Polly, The Terminal, War of the Worlds (because of the shitty, original book ending), The Mask, Kate Hudson's BEST work.

"C-": A below-average movie. Something about it is just not good enough to give it a "C". Generally you see these on DVD, and don't even think about going to see them in the theater. However, if you do go to see it in the theater, even with low expectations, you'll end up disappointed. You probably don't want to see this movie again. You like it less and less over time, like your buddy's hot girlfriend who has been with him for a couple of years, only you know that she's been fooling around on him. The more you think about her, the less you like her. Well, that's a C- movie.

Examples: Tomcats, Agent Cody Banks, Camp Nowhere, Contact, My Fair Lady, Star Wars Episode II, Michael, Welcome to Mooseport, Matrix III

"D+": A bad movie. You really have to be desperate to watch this in theaters. If you do, when you get up at the end, you wonder if the pain in your ass is that it has fallen asleep, or that the theater-owner has just finished railing $9 out of you. Some bright spots--if you watch it in theaters, you're guaranteed at least one unintentionally comedic scene where everyone laughs at a very inopportune moment. However, that doesn't come close to the shame you feel when you casually drop that you've seen the movie in conversation, followed by one of your buddies saying, "Are you serious?", to which you can only muster a weak "...yeah...", before they start giving you shit. Maybe acceptable if it's the only agreeable movie out and you're on an early date, or if it's showing on an airplane, but otherwise total garbage.

Examples: Panic Room, Many other Jodie Foster movies, Coyote Ugly (the hot chicks save it from being lower), Summer Catch, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey version), It Runs in the Family, Bad Company, Most Chris Rock movies (the guy is talented as a comedian, but his movies are TERRIBLE)

"D": A movie that you can barely sit through. If you see it in the theaters, you feel like Malcolm McDowell in "A Clockwork Orange" by the end. You think about getting up and leaving at least 3 times before it's over. A really bad movie with few, if any, redeeming qualities about it.

Examples: Die Another Day, Cheaper by the Dozen, Father of the Bride (I and II), Rat Race, Twister, Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana

"D-": I (thankfully) haven't seen too many D-'s but I imagine they would consist of some of the worst romantic comedies out there (i.e. Kate Hudson's typical fare). Not too much to say about these, but just try to figure them out for yourselves and steer clear.

"F": An absolute trainwreck of a film. No redeeming qualities about it. You stand on a ledge for five minutes contemplating whether or not to take a step after seeing it. You can't finish the entire thing. The DVD's fast forward can't go fast enough to make this movie bearable. No opportunity even for unintentional comedy. You wish you could hit whoever made this movie in the face with a sack of wrenches, then force them to burn every remaining copy of this movie. Whenever someone mentions "Oh, have you seen ________? It's, like, so awesome!", you feel the anger welling up in you and your fists begin to clench. You immediately know that you can never be friends with that person, ever. Just an absolute abomination.

Examples: Stealth, Zardoz, Napoleon Dynamite, The Benchwarmers.

That's about it. More to come.


Saturday, October 28, 2006

Cards Win! Cards Win!

Holy fucking shit, I still can't believe it! The Cards actually won the World Series, for the first time in my life. Abso-fucking-lutely amazing!

I'm obviously still drunk and happy, but here are a few obserations from the game:

-Boy that Scott Rolen really got a fire lit under his ass after his benching. Unbelieveable. During the season, my brother and I watched damned near every Cards game on TV, and since Rolen never got any hits, we came up with the idea that he was paying off STATS, Inc. to give him 20 HR and 90 RBI. Little did we know that a good old fashioned pissing contest would be enough to get him good to go for the WS. Rolen, though I still am not a huge fan, you've proved enough worth that I can stomach the rest of your contract as a Cards fan. Congratulations!

-David Eckstein's cock must be sore from the slurp jobs that he's been getting tonight. Don't get me wrong, I love Eck, it's just that now that the Cards have won the Series, the national media is looking for any positive spin to put on this absolute trainwreck that they've created by licking the Yanks and Bosox all year, so they pick the guy who is all hustle, all team, all the time to do a slurp job on. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that...

-Chris Duncan was almost a toal goat this game. You trust the coach's son to be at least decent at D, but it was obvious by the 4th that Duncan wasn't hitting worth shit tonight, and he was the biggest liability in the field since "Simon the Law Review Kid" who happened to show up during one of our softball games a few weekis ago. LaRussa almost shit the bed, but to his credit, once he realized what was up, he brought in the biggest badass this team has had since Pedro Guerrero (Preston Wilson) to man the other OF spot, and it paid off. Bravo, Tony, bravo.

-The Tigers' D was equally as terrible. Why the fuck can't pitchers throw to bases? I witnessed a similar problem 7 years ago. I was playing first base, and one of our pitchers skipped a pickoff throw IN PRACTICE over to me. Not expecting the shortcut through the grass, I got clocked right in the jaw before the state semi-final. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly as happy as Cao Boi from Survivor after taking 4 huge bong rips. Though the pundits blame Leland for not practicing the situation enough, I fully blame these pitchers. How long have they been playing baseball? All their lives? And you CAN'T EVEN MAKE A GODDAMNED THROW TO A FUCKING BASE? FUCK YOU! Ridiculous.

-I do feel bad for Tigers fans, though. They were not at all obnoxious like Mets fans, who strut and preen like they're Elton John at a sailor convention. They were legitimately invested in their team, something that I can respect as a Cards fan. Unfortunately, their best player in the Series was Sean Casey, whom my brother and I have referred to as "the Fat Little Leaguer" ever since his time on the Reds when he used to kill the Cards. He could have been called "The Gardener" since he used to rake so much against us. Unfortunately, that wasn't nearly enough for the Tabby Cats. They have a bright future, I'm just so blinded by the reflection off of the World Series trophy right now that I can't make it out.

-Finally, I give a lot fo credit to John Kruk, who did one of the most graceful 180's of all time, especially for a large man. He admitted that, though the Tigers made a fair number of errors, they were pressured into them by a Cards offense that was getting guys on however they could (namely, walks). In fact, this Series was a perfect example of "Moneyball" come to life--the Cards took their walks, while the Tigers hacked like tuberculosis-infected asbestos removers. I almost (ALMOST) felt bad for Jim Leyland when Kenny Rosenthal interviewed him after the series (what a job that must have been, huh? How long did Chris Myers have to throw a tantrum to get the job of reporting for the winners instead of the losers? And do you think they held it over Rosenthal's head, like--"You interview the fucking losers, goddamnit, or we can find another 5' 1" baseball reporter to be the second sideline guy, peckerhead!" Baseball--what a game)

However, it all went away when I realized that THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS ARE 2006 WORLD CHAMPIONS!!! And I will sleep tonight knowing that, for the first time in my life, we were the best team in the game, at least come October.

Definitions, Etc.

Before I get to the main event tonight, here are a few definitions that might prove helpful to whoever is reading this in the future:

Hoosiers: Largely a St. Louis term, it does not mean someone who is from Indiana. Rednecks, hicks, whatever you want to call them. They are people that don’t think at all. Though they can be sheep when listening to public officials, hoosiers are all about the present, and don’t think about the future. They generally misallocate resources, and are annoying as shit. Though they use the majority of public resources (schools, farm subsidies, etc.), they’ll be goddamned if you raise their taxes. Can be snobs in areas like religion and guns. Sometimes can be snobs. Oh, and they always think that they are right, generally without any good reason for it. No sense of true reality.

Snobs: People that think they know more than others, and thus try to keep their upperhand via bullshitting. In their eyes, if you don’t speak the buzz words, you can’t be in the club. Anything someone not in the club says isn’t good enough for their enlightened ears. Generally arrogant pricks, insufferable to be around. Can be hoosiers in areas outside of their expertise, as they obnoxiously try to contribute to a conversation out of their league. No sense of true reality.

Goobers: Really big, dumb hoosiers. The only differentiation is, though they are dumber than the average hoosier (like it's even possible), they generally seem to have a good heart, even as they go around fucking things up for everyone else. See Duncan, Chris, Rolen, Scott, and Isringhausen, Jason as examples

Will add more as they become necessary.


Friday, October 27, 2006

If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker

Unfortunately, that quote pretty much sums up my life as we hit the halfway point of the NFL season. As a die-hard Dolphins fan, I was thrilled when the Fins inked Daunte Culpepper this past offseason, even with a shot at Drew Brees. Daunte was one horrible, injury-marred (or actually injury-saved) season off of one of the most impressive seasons for a QB in NFL history, in which he was denied the MVP only because Peyton Manning audibled and pointed for like 70 TDs and 5,000 yards. Last season's pre-injury 6 TD-12 INT performance was surely an aberration, a result of the Vikes losing bad seed but unquestioned talent Randy Moss and somehow managing to get in more trouble off the field (and off dry-land) without him. The Fins were getting a steal and the best QB we've had since before #13 dropped 50 pounds on SlimFast. Then SI picked the Fins to go to the Super Bowl. The sports talk show hosts followed with their "expert" support, voiced with a Jack Shepard-esque "holier-than-thou" assuredness. We all drank the Aqua and Orange Kool-Aid.

Or at least I thought it was kool-aid. After a 1-6 start (1-3 with Daunte, 0-3 with Lion's savior Joey H.) I'm gettin the feeling that what we drank may have been drained from the discarded G-strings on Daunte's sex boat. After the AZ Cards got fucked for the 2nd time in 6 days by the Div-2 Raiders after their MNF choke job vs the Bears, I'm having trouble spotting the sucker. (By the way, getting fucked twice in six days must be a record dry spell for Leinart- but at least the Cards didnt get knocked up). The Fins are now tied with the likes of Cle, Ten, Det, and the Cards - teams QBed by 2 rookies, Charlie Frye and Jon Kitna. On the upside, the trendy Fins-Cards SB pick has turned into a fierce battle - for the 1st pick in the 2007 draft.

So, with my boys tanking like, well, Dolphins, and until Daunte is fully "rehabbed" (Saban has taken a break from wearing straw hats and making Hurley-sized lineman cry to explain that Daunte was never fully ready to return to the field), I am officially echoing DJGel's October mantra "LETS GO CARDS!"

Keith Law Sucks

OK, so normally I give the media the benfit of the doubt when it comes to reporting sports news--after all, they all have (for the most part) paid their dues, and do this type of thing for a living after years and years of covering bullshit like the Annual Spokane Rodeo.

However, Keith Law is a different animal entirely. For those of you that don't know who Keith Law is, he's running a "blog" over at espn.com, which is just filled with all kinds of negativity and poor form. For a little background on Keith, not only was he an assistant GM for the Blue Jays when they were T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E, but now he takes every opportunity possible to slam the Cards into the ground. Apparently, every game the Cards win is based on "luck", while every game they lose is based on them being a "shitty team".

Well, I've got news for you, Keith Law. The Cards are up 3-1 now. While your weasel ass might not care, I've noticed the increased hatred and disrespect you've been throwing the Cards' way this Series. Consequently, I'm going to make it my job to criticize Keith Law's column in the same acrid, disrespectful tone as he has been writing in this entire time. Here's your first installment:

"Whaddya know -- drama! I remember drama. Haven't seen it in a while, mind you, but I'm pretty sure this is what it looks like."
-Keith Law, reminiscing as to how he could get the "cute, drama boys" back in high school

"More than any other reason, the Cardinals won this game because of the wet grass."
This is amazing! I thought that the "wet grass" didn't have an impact on anyone except "The Weave", and I was sure that he'd clean it up before Game 5. Of course, since the Cards didn't fuck up in the "wet grass", it couldn't be that the Tigers were worse. Far from it, they were better, but for the wet grass. Thank God for Keith Law! Master of the universe!

"The Tigers are actually a very good defensive club, but they haven't looked like one in this series." Really? No shit, Sherlock...

"Their one major position-player error so far in this series was by Brandon Inge, an outstanding defensive third baseman. Pudge Rodriguez, considered by many to be the best defensive catcher in history, missed a third strike in the bottom of the eighth that allowed Aaron Miles to reach second with two outs. Then, Eckstein's bloop -- a ball Craig Monroe should have caught, but one on which he got a terrible jump -- knocked in the go-ahead run. "

I'm sorry Mr. Law, I couldn't hear you. Maybe what you were saying was muffled by you giving a big old slurp job to the Tigers. It's ok, I'm sure that they'll come back in 3 straight and you'll be vindicated.

"This game showed how, without the DH, the leadoff hitter can come up with men in scoring position because the nine-hitter is often bunting them over. Having a guy in that spot who can make contact when the field is wet and/or the opposing team is not fielding well is a big benefit."
My God, someone attended the Joe Theisman School of Journalism! Among other things they teach you there, the sun probably will rise tomorrow, and Halloween might be this upcoming Tuesday. Brilliant, Keith!

"Eckstein had an interesting night, reaching base four times via an infield single, the double that Granderson probably catches if he doesn't slip, a double off Monroe's glove that also probably should have been caught, and a well-hit double in the third. It's a very fine line between 1-for-5 with no glory and 4-for-5 and hero status."

Yeah, and it's also a very fine line between "I'm angry because THE SHITTY TORONTO BLUE JAYS FIRED ME, plus I'm a shitty assistant GM who won't get a look with successful teams from now on", and "I'm, slightly bitter, but still teams will be clamoring at the door for me once the postseason is over." What a delusional asshole...

"Just remember names like Wainwright and Josh Kinney when the Tigers' series loss is blamed on their youth and inexperience."

Right, finally a shot at the Tigers. Though, admittedly, I'm a Cards fan, this guy is the definition of smug. Hey Keith, did you sign up Josh Kinney when you were in Toronto? No? I'm sure, then, that you signed up a guy who has had a similar impact on the Jays, right? Oh, really? You didn't? Hmmmm...That is a fucking Mayan puzzle why they FIRED YOUR ASS, then, it really is.

"I'm not sold on Tony La Russa's decision to go with Jeff Weaver (whose low postseason ERA belies how poorly he's pitched) over Anthony Reyes (who was so good in Game 1) in Game 5, but given how many Tiger hitters are still struggling -- add Magglio OrdoƱez, who had a long, lackadaisical swing all night, to that list -- it may not make much of a difference."

At least the guy cares, folks. A lot of people say that you can tell a true baseball fan from one who doesn't give a fuck in the first few minutes that you meet them. But let me tell you, this guy LOVES watching baseball. What a fan. My hat is off, Keith Law. You are obviously a genius, and teams should be kissing your taint to interview for their vacant GM jobs. They'd be a fool if they didn't. Actually, can we get you to interview for Walt Jocketty's job? You know, the "dumbass" who assembled a team that is ONE GODDAMNED WIN from winning the World Series?

I await your apology, Mr. Law.


Monday, October 23, 2006

First Post

This is Blogmogger--the place to go on the internet for BSing about sports, tv, movies, whatever. There are a few of us that are going to be posting here, so keep checking in from time to time to see what's up.