DJGel: Well Dave, I must say that it feels good to be back, though you and Drew handled the column very adroitly last time. That said, I'm definitely excited to be back for this final installment of Season 3 Lost Bloggin'. Here's a quick recap:
-The first episode centered around Charlie making a list of the top five moments of his "pathetic little life" (his words, not mine). I can't believe that I'm saying this, but the episode actually endeared Charlie to me a bit, and I think really worked well within the story.
-Desmond told Charlie that he saw a new flash that involved Charlie in a hatch, him flipping a switch that turned off a flashing yellow light, and then him drowning. However, Desmond also said that if he did so, Claire and Aaron would be rescued in a helicopter.
-Charlie (surprisingly) did the noble thing and prepared to die. He said his goodbyes to everyone on the island, including Aaron.
-Charlie kissed Claire for about 3 seconds. I'm not sure if you get the HD feed or not, but I'm pretty sure that you can see Charlie walking away from the scene with a giant erection.
-Jack crafted a plan to dispose of the Others coming to take the pregnant women from the camp by (of course) blowing them up with DYN-O-MITE! He and Rousseau went about setting a trap for the Others.
-Ben ordered the Others' "commando squad" to head to the beach early to get the pregnant women because he claimed that Locke had an "accident." Richard seemed somewhat put off by this. Ben also claimed that if any of the men were stupid enough to get in their way, the commandos were to kill them. Uh, yeah Ben, you're the "good guys" all right.
-Alex got wind of Ben's plan and told Carl to go warn the Losties about it. Carl agreed because he's totally whipped.
-The Losties, forced to improvise after getting wind of the impending siege by the Others, get the brilliant idea to set off the dynamite in the tents by shooting at it. Sayid, Jin, and Bernard stay behind to shoot at the tents.
-Meanwhile, Jack concocted a plan to break the radio silence from the island. He headed up an expedition to the radio tower to cancel Rousseau's signal, as it was interfering with Naomi's Satellite phone. However, Juliet revealed that Ben was jamming the signal from an underwater hatch called "The Looking Glass." Charlie, sensing a way to get Claire off of the island before he has even reached second base, volunteered to make the swim to the hatch. Desmond gleefully followed him like an eager
-Charlie and Desmond headed out along the rope down the beach to the underwater Looking Glass hatch. At the last minute, Desmond attempted to take Charlie's place diving down to the hatch, but Charlie knocked him out before he could do so.
-The first ep ended with Charlie swimming down to the hatch, surfacing in a submarine bay, and then yelling about how he's still alive before being confronted by two hot chicks with guns.
-The Finale began with a Jack "flashback" where he had a full beard that made him look like a community theater version of Rasputin. He is seen on a plane downing booze with a guy who looks eerily like Jin (with a different Asian woman than Sun) sitting directly behind him.
-Jack made his way to a bridge where he came very close to committing suicide. However, some chick got in an accident and prevented him from doing so. He pulled the woman and her son from the wreckage. We see the son later, and he looks oddly like a very young Ethan. Hmm...
-Charlie got the shit beat out of him for every smart ass answer that he gave to the hot chicks in the Looking Glass who were interrogating him. On a side note, how did Charlie go from "total joke of a character" to "rivaling Sawyer for smart-ass one-liners" in a span of two episodes? It's somewhat mind-boggling…
-The Others storming the beach didn't suspect a thing as they approached the tents. Sayid and Bernard hit the dynamite in the tents on their first shot, taking 7 Others along with them. However, Jin couldn't hit his tent, and the remaining 3 Others took Bernard, Sayid, and Jin hostage. I will allow you to defend the Asian guy's honor here.
-Ben told Mikhail to head to the Looking Glass. He ended up firing at a waking Desmond in the boat. Desmond dove down to the hatch, then deftly hid in a locker while the two comely ladies argued in a soundproof airlock.
-Mikhail talked to Ben, who told him to kill the two girls and Charlie. Mikhail agreed, and shot both of the girls, killing one instantly.
-Unfortunately for old Mikhail, Desmond happened to be in a locker with a spear gun. Desmond pumped that fucker directly into Mikhail's chest before he could kill Charlie. Charlie got the barely alive chick to tell him that the code to the jamming device was keyed to the Beach Boys' song "Good Vibrations." Amazingly convenient.
-Meanwhile, on the trek to the radio tower...
-Kate tried to convince Sawyer to head back to camp. Sawyer declined. Mere minutes later, Sawyer headed back to camp with Juliet, who kissed Jack very openly before she left (confused yet?) Kate was noticeably jealous.
-Hurley followed Sawyer and Juliet, but Sawyer, fearing that Hurley would be killed, told him to turn back. Hurley left, seemingly dejected.
-This entire time, Ben had been plotting to meet Jack and company before they reached the radio tower. He took Alex with him. Ben finally met Jack as he was approaching the tower.
-Ben set up a plan where he told Jack that Naomi was a part of the "bad guys," and he would be remiss to contact the outside world using the phone. Jack claimed bullshit. Ben then told Tom and the other 2 Others to kill the Losties on the beach if they didn't hear from Ben within a minute. Jack "called Ben's bluff," and heard 3 gunshots for his trouble after the minute wore out. This kind of sent Jack over the edge. He beat up Ben pretty bad, then dragged him along to the radio tower to get revenge.
-Sawyer and Juliet made it back to the beach without any weapons or a plan...only to find Hurley driving out of the woods in the goddamned VW Bus. Not sitcommy at all! At any rate, Sawyer drives over one of the Others, Sayid pulled a Zenia Onatop from "Goldeneye" and broke another's neck with his legs, and Tom seemingly surrendered. Sawyer, using a gun he found on the ground, put a bullet in Tom's chest and claimed, "That's for taking the boy off of the raft." When pressed by Hurley that he surrendered, Sawyer replied, "I didn't believe him." Just two badass lines that announced Sawyer's presence with authority again.
-My God there are a lot of storylines to juggle here. At any rate, Charlie shut down the jamming device and received a communication from Penny. Penny claimed not to know anything about a "Naomi" or a "boat." Before Charlie could alert Desmond, who was preparing scuba gear for the two of them, our old friend Mikhail showed up with a grenade outside of the window of the airlock. Charlie closed the airlock door to save Des, and then proceeded to drown. He wrote on his hand for Desmond to see that it wasn't Penny's boat on the island. I was actually somewhat disappointed due to the build-up of the past few episodes.
-While all of this was going on, Jack's "flashback" continued. He saw some article in a newspaper that really shook him up. He proceeded to a funeral that was attended by nobody. When asked if he was a friend or family, Jack gave sort of a non-committal answer. He didn't open the casket (of course) so we have no fucking idea who it is, though Grant made a pretty educated guess that it was Ben Linus
-Need I remind everyone that Jack also was a Junky who was addicted to pain pills? He also made several disconcerting present-tense references to his father in the episode (more on that below).
-If that weren't enough, they cut to Locke in the mass grave, trying to kill himself with a gun that he found in there. Right before he pulled the trigger, though, he saw a vision of Walt that told him that "he had work to do." Unfuckinbelievable.
-With the interference disabled, the Losties powered down the radio tower, enabling the phone to get a signal. Naomi was about to talk on the phone--until John Locke stuck her square in the back with a fucking knife from about 100 feet away. He threatened to kill Jack if he continued to let the phone ring, but he didn’t have the balls, even though he stated that "Jack wasn't supposed to talk on the phone."
-The phone was eventually answered by a guy with a really Polish-sounding name. That's not nearly the most interesting part of the episode, though.
-Jack was seen in his apartment talking to some unknown person on the phone. He had many maps of the south pacific on the wall with tons of pin points. For a brief moment, I think that Jack is a plant all along.
-The climax involved Jack meeting someone at the runway at LAX. That someone turns out to be...drumroll please...KATE! It was a flash-forward the whole episode! Jack noted how he expected to see Kate at the funeral. Kate says that "he" would get suspicious if she didn't return home soon. Who's funeral? Who is HE? Who knows?
-Jack references several other things to make the viewer think that this scene takes place in present day, including Jack referencing the "gold card" that Oceanic gave him for unlimited flights, and how he was flying every weekend, hoping to crash back on the island. Kate essentially tells him to fuck off. We then cut to credits.
Fucking A. That was the longest recap by far, but entirely necessary. Did I miss anything? (I'm sure I did).
½ Man ½ Am-Asian: That was pretty thorough. A couple inane points:
-There was the whole "DS" heirloom ring that Charlie's brother gave him which he, in turn, gave to Aaron. Things like this seem to have a tendency of popping back up.
-Jack told Kate that he loves her for some reason. A good addition to the story, no doubt, but it was kind of random and only relevant in the context of the very last scene.
-Ben told Alex that Rousseau is her mother. Eh, there's an awkward embrace and that's about it.
So everything in the first episode was pretty much resolved by the second one: We see what happens to the Looking Glass, why it gets flooded, who the chicks are, and how the rest of the Losties deal with the impending Others' attack. It was a pretty good episode but I don't think there's too much to theorize about.
As sort of an offshoot of the episode, however, do you think Charlie's dead? I must confess that a) I didn't think the writers would actually fulfill their promise and b) I was so surprised that I was mildly upset when it happened. Not exactly my finest hour. Anyway, to answer my own question, I think there's definitely room to bring back Charlie; I mean, they've brought back Mikhail, like, a dozen times now so I think Charlie's fair game too. Plus, why didn't he just swim out of the porthole that was blown open? Obviously the Looking Glass was not so deep that he couldn't swim down to get there so why couldn't he have made it up? Granted, a nefarious eye-patch-wearing Russian would have been waiting for him but that's beside the point.
So, again, is Charlie dead? If so that would mean the Losties have to get off the island seeing as it fulfilled Desmond's flash, right?
DJGel: Well, it looks like the writers have answered that one for me. Look at this article. Seems pretty conclusive that Charlie won’t be back. So now, Dominic Monaghan gets to sit on his ass in
I think that the Losties have to get rescued at some point now, probably by the “bad guys.” Grant had a couple of interesting ideas on this one. First, he thinks that the main storyline will now occur in the “future,” with the “flashbacks” occurring on the island. I can’t say that I would be surprised if that was the case. Also, he seems to think that it was Ben Linus in the coffin. I think that it’s probably the best guess I’ve heard, but I can see that it might be someone else. What about Rose? If Bernard would die here coming up, and her cancer would return once off-island, it could certainly cause Jack to go over the edge, since she wouldn’t have died if he didn’t have them rescued.
I still think that there’s some way to break the cycle. Desmond kind of was onto something with his flashes, but he obviously wasn’t able to break the cycle in the end. I think someone will have an opportunity to go back to this episode at some point and “make things right,” especially since Locke said, “You weren’t supposed to do that” to Jack after he calls in the rescue. Desmond gave us a glimpse of this in his early episode—he WAS supposed to push that button. So, in short, I think that either someone has to go back or Desmond has to make things right somehow in the future so that the alternate reality that we saw never comes to pass.
On a lighter note, what was with Juliet and Jack smoochin’ there at the end of the episode? And why couldn’t Sawyer come up with a good one liner to counter Juliet when, after asking her if she was screwing Jack yet, she replied, “Are you?” I mean, there’s a joke in there somewhere, right?
Also, what’s your take on the whole “Hurley saves the day with the bus” gimmick? I think it was really lame and reeks of a “jumping the shark” moment, but most people I talk to not only weren’t horribly offended by its lack of originality, but in fact liked it. So I ask you, what do you think good sir?
½ Man ½ Am-Asian: I think you're right about the show moving to the future. At the very least, I think we're done with flashbacks and now it will only be flashforwards; that is, maybe it'll take the rest of the show for them to actually get off the island but we'll see all the dire consequences of doing so for each character. My prediction is that they will spend the next season doing this and the finale will be Desmond somehow altering this course. The last two seasons would probably be the Losties and Others trying to rectify the problems of the island that Ben was originally trying to fix (i.e. the smoke monster, Jacob, pregnancy, etc.).
lf this turns out to be the case for next season there's almost too much fallout from leaving the island to list, but here's a short attempt:
-Jack no longer has any purpose as demonstrated in his flashforward. On a related note, should we assume his father is actually alive or was he just "tripping balls?" The former is much more intriguing.
-Kate, Sun, and maybe even Claire will lose their babies; Jin will go back to having a baby dick or whatever.
-Rose and Ben will die of cancer and Locke will be paralyzed. Hurley will ... continue being fat.
-Nothing good can come of Sawyer and Sayid's situations. Both don't really have anybody back in the real world and both boned hot white chicks; going back home can only be a downgrade.
That's my theory.
As for Juliet and Jack, I don't know what to make of this quite yet. It seemed like the writers wanted to move away from the love triangle, save Kate briefly getting jealous, but now they've resuscitated this big time. I guess it doesn't hurt to entertain the remote possibility of a Wild Things retread on the island but I thought they wrapped the love stories pretty well (i.e. Jack with a questionably trustworthy Juliet, Kate a questionably trustworthy Sawyer). Eh, it doesn't take much off the table but doesn't add much either.
I chalk up Hurley saving the day to a necessary evil. Hey, at least we can say that his Cheech Marin episode wasn't a complete non sequitur now and the writers really needed him to do something other than conspicuously get fatter even though they're marooned on an island. Could this be a "jumping the shark" moment? Perhaps. At this point I'm just glad that the writers gave a pretty damn pleasing finale after a very up-and-down season.
On a slightly nit-picking note, did you think it was a little incongruous for Locke to put a knife in the back of Naomi (after not being able to kill his incredibly villainous father) and then not be able to at least shoot Jack? And why did NOBODY get an answer out of Naomi as to who she was, who the ship belongs to, why she was flying the helicopter, why it crashed, why she had a picture of Des and Penny ... ? I mean, there were a million questions about her but all we knew about her was that she had a satellite phone. And then any-life-is-precious Locke just kills her. Come on!
DJGel: Wow, a lot of good points there, Dave. Here are a few of my predictions for what happens in the future:
-Jack’s dad is alive. His corpse caught a whiff of that whisky (because it is English, after all) that Des, Hurley, and Charlie were drinking and immediately sprung back to life, seeking the delicious nectar that kept him alive while being bitched at by his sanctimonious son for all of those years.
-Sawyer and Sayid’s characters have plenty left to accomplish--namely star in a spin-off abc sitcom of some sort. “One’s a badass former torturer. The other, a hardened southern con man. But what happens when they both have to band together to face their most daunting challenge yet…FATHERHOOD! From the producers that brought you ‘According to Jim,’ it’s ‘Fathers Know Best!’” I mean, it’s worth a shot, right?
-Rose and Bernard will…still be boring. By the way, was I the only one who caught when, in the second-to-last episode, when Rose was trying to convince Bernard not to stay behind, she said something like, “well, if you’re going to be out on the beach all night, we’d better get you into something dark…” Was I the only one that caught that? As a master of the lost art of double-entendre, I thought you would be the first one to pick up on that one, Dave.
-Locke will somehow manage to become the spokesman for a wide variety of cleaning products, the French national soccer team’s goalie, and captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
Seriously, though, I think Locke had no problem killing Naomi because she is one of the “bad guys” who isn’t “supposed” to be on the island. Locke’s big thing is that the castaways and Others both have some greater purpose for being on the island. Because she didn’t, he probably has no problem killing her, but wasn’t “supposed” to shoot Jack, even in the leg, if that makes any sense. Where does that leave the real Sawyer? I guess Sawyer had to work through those issues to shed himself of that baggage and become his own person for once in his life. Also, Locke obviously had big problems when it came to that asshole, so he wasn’t the “right man” for the job.
I mean, in terms of other “unresolved things,” they’re going to have to explain how the plane was found with all of the dead bodies. I know, I know, Naomi could have been lying, but Locke’s father also confirmed that they had found all of the bodies and the wreckage, so that leaves a bit of a problem hanging. How did Walt age 3 years in 2 months? He looked like Greg Oden’s older brother when Locke saw him. Will Desmond be able to alert everyone that it wasn’t Penny’s boat, or is it too late?
Also, do you think that it’s possible that everyone except Jack and Kate (and the one other person in the coffin) stays on the island somehow? That Kate adopts the identity of one of the dead castaways to start a new life? That Jack feels the need to “save” everyone else on the island from whatever the “bad guys” are doing to them, either enslavement, forced labor, or making them just watch Rose, Bernard, and Hurley live their lives for months on end? I think this could be a distinct possibility. Thoughts?
½ Man ½ Am-Asian: Well, this was a very interesting finale in that there's a lot to go
off of and also not a lot to go off of. Really, the writers completely flipped this thing on its head, so much so that it's difficult to try to connect anything. I could try to make sense of all this but ultimately I've got nothing, I just need to see how this plays out. I mean, at this point, they could just have Jack get clocked with a cricket back and have all the flashforwards stop.
So where does that leave us? I think the only subject to cover is the overall theme of the show, island, etc. For the sake of argument, it seems like the new matchup is Losties/Others vs. Naomi's Ship. The ship's purpose is heavily veiled at this point but the main options probably have something to do with the fathers of Penny and Sun. Being evil, corporate pricks, they probably want to harness the island's healing, send-you-back-in-time, smoke-monster-related powers. Honestly, I can't think of a unifying theory that could cover all the bizarre shit that's happened; I think I need to consult The Great Brain on this one (speaking of which, expect a solo debut from GB in the near future).
Any new ruminations on an overall Lost theory?
DJGel: Nothing too concrete. This one just kind of popped into my head as I was typing: what if Naomi’s people were the ones who caused this specific group of people to be on Oceanic 815 for some reason, then caused the plane to malfunction and fly over the island so that they could possibly discover it? I mean, it could even be that the Judy Dench lady is one of “the bad guys,” who hoped that Desmond might turn the key at some point and make the island easier to find. In that sense, they could re-frame the equation as “free will vs. predestination.” That might even explain Ben trying to make Locke kill his father—he wanted Locke to prove that he could create his own path, free of the “universe’s control.” Meanwhile, Naomi and her people (and maybe even Locke, judging by his “You’re not supposed to do that!” speech to Jack) believe in this “universal predestination” ideal and think that they are “supposed” to find the island for their own sinister purposes. Where does the smoke monster fit into all of this? I don’t know. All I know is that he tears trees out of the ground like they’re dandelions and beats the shit out of badasses like Eko.
I mean, it doesn’t give us too much direction to work off of, but it’s about as good as I can do right now. I mean, even a bit removed from the whole episode, I’m still reeling a bit and struggling to get my footing—or as I like to call it, pulling a Lindsay Lohan at a traffic stop. Any final thoughts or theories of your own?
½ Man ½ Am-Asian: Like you, I don't have much. As we'll be flipping between the island and the real world more next season (Naomi's boat, flashforwards), the only thing I can say is that we'll probably see a lot more previously ancillary characters popping up. Penny, her father, and Sun's father are all right in the mix now. Jack's degenerate dad is hopefully back as well. Is it too much to hope for a little Cheech Marin next season?
Since the show's ending in three seasons, I see things generally wrapping up in two. Specifically, I think the final season will be dedicated to them (Losties, Others, Bai Ling, etc.) having to resolve whatever problems are happening on the island. So that implies a lot of the mystery of the show will have to be revealed over the next TWO seasons (I did that math in my head if you were wondering). This may be a tall order; just off the top of my head, we have no idea what's going on with the Black Rock, the mural in the Swan, Desmond's flashes, Jin's 360 roundhouse -- suffice it to say there are a lot of loose ends to tie up. However, this whole Naomi's-boat thing smacks of a good precipitation point for some pieces to fall into place over the next two seasons. And, after a quick look back at my record, it's a safe bet none of these ambiguous predictions will even come close to fruition.
One last thing, whose idea was it to start Season 4 in February 2008? I think this means we'll get a nonstop season instead of two halves but, sweet sassy molassy, February seems like a long ways away. Let the dead-horse-beating begin!
DJGel: I think you’re pretty on point with your theory as to the direction of the show. That final season is really going to be something. I also cannot wait for February of 2008. They have to give me my fix. I think that they said something about doing some “minisodes” this summer. I have no fucking clue what a “minisode” is, but if it has anything to do with Lost, I’m going to eat that shit up like Charlie gums heroin.
Thanks for all of your hard work this season, Dave. I hope that you’ll return for “Lost Bloggin’” (and the Weekly, for that matter) next year when you have time again.