Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Blogmogger 2007 Fantasy Football Guide

Though this column may fall under the category of “a day late and a dollar short,” now that I’ve had my big fantasy football draft, I thought that was important to share the wealth a little bit by giving you loyal Friends of the Mog some strategy for your fantasy drafts, along with some random thoughts on some selected players. Remember, this is coming from a guy who used to proof and index the draft guide for the Sporting News for a little extra pocket change over the summer (though unfortunately they wouldn’t let me correct their atrocious player rankings). Here goes:

-Always draft one more starting running back than you have slots to start them in

For example, if you play in a league where you start 2 RBs and a WR/RB, draft 4 RBs. Inevitably one of them will either get hurt or totally fucking suck. Don’t be that guy picking up Mike Anderson in Week 10 just because you think he might get some goal-line carries for the Ravens.

-It is wise to spend late round picks on backups to the big time running backs over lesser QBs and WRs

Think about it: if you draft a middle-of-the road WR toward the end of the draft, the 4 points or so a week that he’s going to get you are just going to be wasted on your bench. At least if you take Michael Turner, you’re making an investment, even if that investment is in LaDanian Tomlinson suffering a catastrophic injury at some point this season. One super sleeper: Brian Leonard of my very own Rams. Not only is he a “Rut-gahs” guy, but Steven Jackson is about as fragile as that egg in Risky Business, despite his big-time year last season. Remember where you heard it first…

-A top-flight WR is the least of your worries

I’ve crunched the numbers on this one, and to be honest, there really are a lot more palatable wideouts out there than QBs or RBs. Don’t be “that guy” who takes Marvin Harrison at the end of the first round. You’re much better off taking a running back or elite QB.

-If you don’t get Antonio Gates, forget about the TE position

You can snag a guy like Jason Witten this year at the very end of the draft. He’s just as good (if not better) than anyone behind Antonio Gates. Trust me.

-Defenses and Kickers are for pussies

My league doesn’t even use them any more, but if you must continue to, wait until the end, then try to pick the best defense left. There will often be defenses that improve because of new personnel (Patrick Willis in San Fran, anyone?) or a coordinator’s new scheme. Besides, if you’re relying on your defense for big points, your team has much bigger problems.

Kickers are even more volatile. Aside from maybe Jeff Wilkins, there isn’t really a sure thing out there. Stay away from these guys; God knows their teammates do.

-Get at least a second tier QB in the first 4 rounds

If it’s Peyton Manning in the first, good luck. If not, be sure to get Carson Palmer, Drew Brees, or Marc Bulger. After that, you’re kind of screwed (sorry Jamie…)

Random Thoughts on Players

LaDanian Tomlinson, RB SD

If he’s not picked first overall in your league, you need to get some new friends. He is far and away the most consistent, durable, and just flat-out best running back out there. LT’s back is still sore from carrying so many fantasy teams last year (including mine).

Steven Jackson, RB STL

Mike Martz’s only successful first round draft pick. Steve-O, as we affectionately call him, absolutely blew up last year. His only question is durability. To re-iterate, if you pick him, you absolutely must take Brian Leonard in the late rounds.

Larry Johnson, RB KC

Do the insane number of carries, the holdout, and the somewhat effeminate low-cut, v-neck shirt that he was wearing on Hard Knocks scare me? Sure, they’d frighten anyone. Still, as my brother pointed out, he has a chance to be “the best fantasy player of 2007.” And he’s really the last option on the board that you can really say that about with a straight face.

Frank Gore, RB SF

He’s damned good, even if he didn’t have many touchdowns this past year. Again, though, he is an injury concern, to the point where Jamie has been able to get him as low as 7th in one of his drafts. Still, as long as Alex Smith is under center in Frisco, the Niners have no choice but to run Gore to death and hope that Patrick Willis rips the ball from skill players and runs for 20 TDs. As a back up, I think it’s that Michael Robinson guy who played QB at Penn State. Really? Is that the best you can do, San Fran. Mike Martz tried to pull that shit with Eric Crouch (anger growing…) and Steve Bellisari (rage slowly building…) and…uh…IT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK! WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT! ROT IN DETROIT, YOU SMUG ASSHOLE! Uh…sorry there, folks. I get a little carried away when thinking about how awful of a coach Martz actually was. Moving on…

Joseph Addai, RB IND

I had Addai last year, and I think he started from about week 3 on for my team. He was always a solid, if unspectacular, performer for my squad, but he’ll be asked to shoulder the load this year in Indy. Can anyone say, “Young Edge James minus the thuggery?” He is a solid pick at 5 or 6.

Shaun Alexander, RB SEA

I personally dislike Alexander because he’s on the Seahawks, and because he bitched at Mike Holmgren a couple years ago for falling a yard short of the rushing title. Uh, sorry Shaun, but it’s not Holmgren’s fault that you couldn’t grind out another measly yard ON ANY OTHER PLAY THE REST OF THE FUCKING SEASON!!! Still, though, he’s a good fantasy player. When you take a guy like Shaun-A in a draft, you often feel like you’re making a deal with the devil. Because he’s coming off foot surgery, think long and hard before shaking that hot red outstretched hand in front of you.

Willie Parker, RB PIT

Fast Willie had some absolute monster games last year. Unfortunately, his overall numbers place him squarely in the middle of the second tier of RBs, which means that he’s fairly inconsistent. Still, he’s on a team where he is one long Ben Roethlisberger motorcycle ride away from becoming “the offense,” so keep an eye on him.

Brian Westbrook, RB PHI

Another “deal-with-the-devil” guy because of the Rams’ early-century (how the fuck else are you supposed to say it? 00s? That just doesn’t sound right) clashes with them, you know, when the Rams were still actually a good team. Also, I think that every fantasy magazine in the country has a little red cross next to his profile because he’s such an injury risk. That said, when he does play, the “glorified third down back,” as I call him, actually puts up some points.

Rudi Johnson, RB CIN

Eh. He’s a starting running back, but other than that, you can take him or leave him. I wouldn’t be too excited about having him on my team.

Reggie Bush, RB NO

He is lightning in a bottle, and he’ll get his touches for sure, even if he’s split out wide half the time. In one of Jamie’s drafts, he went as high as 2nd, and no, it wasn’t a league full of 5-year olds. As I understand it, they draft this Saturday. By the way, do you notice how I keep saying “one of Jamie’s drafts?” That’s because the kid is in like 14,562 leagues this year. It’s nuts. Every time I ask him if he wants to have dinner with the crew or get drunk, the answer is always, “Maybe. I have my football draft in an hour.” Unreal…

Maurice Jones-Drew, RB JAX

Absolutely lightning in a bottle. What a steal for the Jags. Plus he has a cool nickname (MoJo) that makes it sound like he’s doing some kind of weird voodoo shit. You know the drill: Fred Taylor’s the starter at the beginning of the year, he gets hurt in week 2, MoJo owners ride him all the way to their league titles. Good stuff.

Peyton Manning, QB IND

The best QB out there, hands-down. Plus he has the added benefit of a greater range of motion from finally getting that monkey off his back by winning the Super Bowl. He should go in the 7-8 range.

Carson Palmer, QB CIN

He rebounded strong from injuries last year. An elite passer because of the weapons around him. You should look for him to be available late second early third.

Drew Brees, QB NO

His career was really teetering on the toilet seat there for a while in San Diego, but now he has become an elite fantasy option at QB. He has more weapons than an NRA convention in Kentucky. The consensus 3rd option at QB.

Marc Bulger, QB STL

I had Bulger on my team for like 5 years in a row before I took Brees over him this year. Everyone always belittled my selection, but the numbers didn’t lie then, and they certainly don’t lie now. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit that Grant and I have heard hoosiers yell at Bulger in St. Louis during Rams games. Terrible, terrible things that should not be put in writing. If you see me around, I might tell you the story, though…

Tom Brady, QB NE

Tom Brady is not actually perfect, folks. As Rob Lowe in Wayne’s World might say, sure a solid arm, great accuracy, a penchant for coming up in the clutch and boyish good looks will get you far in life, almost to the top. But the fact of the matter is, Tom Brady is a third-tier fantasy QB. I can now no longer come within 50 miles of Boston (thank God…)

Donovan McNabb, QB PHI

Jamie will be the first to tell you that I’m not a huge McNabb fan. I sided with T.O. in the whole feud because, quite frankly, T.O. wasn’t the one who got tired on the last drive of the Super Bowl. Even if he is an obnoxious asshole as a person and an even worse teammate, he did his job. In professional sports, all of this bullshit about teamwork and camaraderie only matters if you win championships. And guess what? D-Mac wilted when it mattered most. I think that that’s far more detrimental to the team than someone bitching about teammates in the media.

That said, people forget what D-Mac was doing last year before he got hurt and half of the city of Philadelphia fell in love with Jeff Garcia (I wonder what the women did…). He was better than Manning. Unfortunately, that pesky knee surgery is more than a bit of a concern for this season (see Culpepper, Dante). High risk, high reward.

Michael Vick, QB ATL

Oops, I’m going off of an old magazine here. If you have a Virginia Penal League league, though, he’ll probably go first overall.

Jon Kitna, QB DET

Ugh. Repeat after me: Jon Kitna is not Kurt Warner. I don’t think he’s ever come close to completing 60% of his passes, which doesn’t fly in a Mike Martz offense. Until they ditch him, they’ll be left on the ground.

J.P. Losman, QB BUF

Grow up already. What an embarrassment.

Eli Manning, QB NYG

Just seeing if you’re still paying attention…

Marvin Harrison, WR IND and Reggie Wayne, WR IND

Before every member of the media puts him up for sainthood, I’ve read things ranging from “boring” to “asshole” about him, so don’t get caught up in the hype. Besides, he’s no spring chicken anymore. This could be the year that he really steps back and Reggie Wayne Steps up.

By the way, since the Colts are such a boring team, and Reggie Wayne is from the U, Grant and I have often speculated that he is the one who always does some outlandish shit at victory parties. I imagine that their Super Bowl party was a nice, quiet couples potluck dinner before Reggie Wayne came roller-skating in, walking four alligators on leashes and carrying a keg on his back. All these Miami guys are nuts: Ray Lewis, Sean Taylor, Shockey, Edge James, Portis; the list goes on and on. Why would Reggie Wayne be the exception? I think this is the year he might break out, too…

Steve Smith, WR CAR

Awesome when he plays. Terrible when he’s out with a devastating injury.

Chad Johnson, WR CIN

Awesome wideout. The Bengals get a lot of national TV because they’re an exciting team to watch, so there’s nothing more satisfying in a football game than to have Chad J on your team, then watch him score a big touchdown on the opposition, then do a bad ass celebration. You really should try it sometime.

Torry Holt, WR STL

Very good, solid wideout. I had him and Bulger last year, so he was a “bonus points” guy for me, meaning that every Bulger-to-Holt TD last year was essentially a double touchdown. Still in the prime of his career, and the featured receiver in St. Louis. A sure Hall-of-Famer who will do great things for you at the WR position. That said, take a running back if one’s still on the board instead.

Terrell Owens, WR DAL

T.O. is obnoxious and a terrible teammate “in the room.” That said, on the field, he’s a terrific teammate, so long as his teammates want him to score fucking touchdowns. His hand problem from last year is probably better now, so he should put up big numbers, so long as Romo keeps him happy.

That’s about it for now. MLB Stuff coming soon…


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Monday, August 27, 2007

MMQB and Fixing the NFL Pre-Season

The NFL Pre-Season is too long. It has been for years. Quite frankly, I think teams would be fine having scrimmages against other teams in full pads and side-stepping these ridiculous games.

Peter King tackled this today in his Monday Morning Quarterback column. Here’s the link. Basically, he has some good ideas throughout the column, including:

1) Getting rid of a pre-season game,

2) Adding a regular season game,

3) Increasing the NFL’s reach abroad, and

4) Creating a “geographic rivalry” inter-conference game. For example, the Texans would play the Cowboys, the Rams would play the Chiefs, etc. King himself admits that you might have to manufacture some rivalries for this to occur (i.e. Broncos-Seahawks), but it would be worth it.

Despite having all of these great ideas in his column, he fails to “put it all together.” Why not make the 17th game the rivalry game? For the “natural” rivals, find some kind of neutral site, like Mizzou for KC-STL. For the “unnatural” rivals, or where there’s no convenient middle ground, why not play the game abroad? For example, have the Seahawks and Broncos go to Tokyo for the game one year, then Monterrey the next, then London the year after, then Toronto the year after that? It would turn the game into more of an event for their fans, and, believe me, a rivalry would develop. Look at how fierce Rams-Seahawks has become. And how long have they been in the division? 5, 6 years? This is a team that plays on the other side of the goddamned country. So it could work. I dunno, I sent King an e-mail question. We’ll see if he likes it.

More to come…


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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Food For Thought: Time Travel

The Back to the Future movies have been on HBO lately, and they’ve been getting me thinking about one of my favorite topics: time travel.

Now before you think that this blog has gone completely off the rails, hear me out. First, I want to say something to all of you wise-ass, know-it-all armchair scientists who think that time travel isn’t possible: “Go fuck yourselves.” Humor me for a minute here.

A lot of time travel movies and TV shows concentrate on being able to change the present by going into the past. I’m thinking along the lines of Doc Brown’s chalkboard in Back to the Future II (possibly the best movie of the franchise due to its use of sports gambling as a more major plot device than any movie before or since, with the exception of Two for the Money). As you may recall, the good doctor demonstrates that because Biff got the sports book back in 1955, the “present” in 1985 was altered, and not in the good, "It's raining donuts" Simpsons kind of way, either.

This is pretty standard stuff in most other TV shows and popular (nerd) culture about the effect of meddling time travelers disrupting the “normal” course of time. I mean are we to believe that George McFly can become a successful sci-fi writer who still lives in the same house with the same family and his ex-bully servant who washes and waxes his cars after he punches him in the face> I mean, after Georgie-boy gained that confidence, wouldn’t he have gone to college? Doesn’t that mean that, more likely than not, he's going to break up with his high school girlfriend at some point? I know times were simpler back then, but I mean come on. It all doesn't quite add up.

Notwithstanding that digression, though, I have a different theory. There is no way that a time traveler could change the timeline for one simple reason—history has already happened as it was “supposed” to to create the current reality that we experience. Even if time travelers are running around hunting goddamned dinosaurs 65 million years ago, that was “the way it was supposed to happen” to achieve our current reality. That time traveler has already been in the past and has done whatever they did to get us to where we are now, because we are experiencing this timeline, right now.

Think of it this way; assume that you could change the timeline through time travel. That assumes that when the time traveler returns to his "present," like Marty or Doc Brown, things may have changed, for better or worse. But from our perspective, that "alternate reality" is the one that we've experienced all of our lives. It's not as if we would wake up one day and realize that things are different because we wouldn't have the same frame of reference as the initial time traveler; things would always seem "normal" to the passive observer in the "new" timeline because it would be all that they know.

This notion of the fixed nature of time, and the inability of time travel to change things raises some interesting possibilities. Did someone from the future go back in time and (for example) give Newton all of his ideas? If so, how did the future people know who was supposed to go back in time to tell him? Would such an arrangement make time travel totally unregulated in the future? After all, you couldn't change the past, right?

But perhaps more importantly, given the possibility of unregulated time travel, what kind of dinosaurs would you hunt? Would you hunt them for meat? Could you actually order a brontosaurus burger in the future, or get one of those giant-sized Fred Flintstone dinosaur steaks made up of meat harvested from the distant past? Would dinosaur even taste very good? Or just like chicken? The questions are endless.

I’m eager to hear thoughts on this, so if anyone has any ideas or wants to tell me I’m an idiot, let me know. More to come…

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Quick Movie Reviews 8-22-07

Here are some films I’ve seen recently and my thoughts. As always, the ratings are based on the scale in the article here. Enjoy.

Ratatouille: A-. A really good, solid movie. Not only are the visuals excellent, but the animators did a great job of conveying the emotions of the characters. I haven’t seen such a good animated movie since Lion King. Also, the rat is just fucking hilarious for some reason, I don’t know.

New Harry Potter: D+. It was so bad that Grant and I had to do a running commentary on the movie in the theater. This director is fucking nuts. There is so much crazy shit going on that Grant and I came up with the recurring joke that Harry is just a big time drug addict stuck on a bad trip. It made the remainder of the movie much more enjoyable for us, as whenever something really nuts happened, we could just pull out a, “man, Harry needs to stop doing those drugs.” Bad film.

Rush Hour 3: C-. Really formulaic, didn’t care about the characters. Two things saved this movie. A) Chris Tucker makes some isolated, funny jokes over the course of the movie, and B) the lead girl is incredibly hot. Other than that, I think Bret Ratner is kind of a chatch-ball, so it didn’t do it for me.

The Bourne Ultimatum: D-. I finally saw a “D-“ movie. I’ve never been a big fan of the Bourne movies. For whatever reason, I just don’t care about the characters that much, and it doesn’t seem like they advance the ball from movie to movie very well. This movie is so filled with cliché lines and bad acting, it’s ridiculous. David Straithairn should never be able to market himself as an “Academy Award nominee” he mails it in so badly in this movie. The fight scenes were kind of cool, but nothing really happens. Just terrible.

Superbad: A-. Very good, very funny movie. Seth Rogen is one hell of a writer, and his dialogue is rivaled by few. Combine that with some great performances by the cast and it’s the first really good adult movie I’ve seen in a while.

The Simpsons: C-. There are some very good jokes in the film, but a lot of times you feel like it’s too much “new” Simpsons and not enough “old” Simpsons, if that makes sense. Also, there’s a few patches of bullshit in there that are just terrible.

That’s all for now. I’ll post more soon.


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Thursday, August 09, 2007

TravelMog: Vegas Trip II

All right loyal Friends of the Mog, I’m finally done with work for the summer, so you should start to expect some more columns coming out here in the coming weeks. We’ll start off with a sure crowd-pleaser—another “TravelMog”—this time about our second trip to Vegas right at the beginning of 2006. In fact, it's so fucking epic that I decided to use Roman numerals to make it all official-looking and shit. Check out the first installment from Vegas here. Enjoy.

Because I received so much positive feedback on the last TravelMog article I wrote, some of my friends have been hounding me to tell the epic tale of our third Vegas trip, which occurred this past January. However, I was thinking about it, and before I write about the third trip, I think that it’s important to get what all happened on the second trip out there. So, here it is. As always, feedback is appreciated.

-About a month before New Year’s, my buddy Org, of first Vegas trip fame, called me up and had the great idea of heading to Vegas to ring in the New Year. Of course, I’m immediately in. We immediately set out to re-unite the old gang from the first trip.

-Sweeney is in, despite the fact that he was writing for the local paper in Hanover at the time and making about as much as we make from writing for this website. Tucker is another story. Despite numerous entreaties, he preferred to stay in New York. What a dick.

-Luckily, Grant was willing to pinch hit. He had maybe met Org and Sweeney twice before the trip, but he had never been to Vegas, so he decided to join up.

-Finding hotels and airfare so close to New Year’s was very tough. We ended up getting a pretty sweet deal on Southwest, but we had to shift hotels every night. On New Year’s Eve, we had to stay at the Hilton Garden Inn, about 5 miles from the strip. We then had to move to Mirage for New Year’s Day, and then to New York New York after that.

I was very pleased that we did so well on such short notice. Little did I know…

-Our flight to Vegas was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. We had an Irish stewardess, and due to Southwest’s annoying “open mike for flight attendants” policy, she sang old Irish tunes for roughly the last half of the flight. Meanwhile, I’m almost certain that the pilot was drunk, as the plane kept rolling from side to side, and every time I looked out the window, there was a gigantic fucking mountain right next to the plane. I thought we were supposed to be flying through the desert! So we’re rolling from side to side, the plane could crash at any minute, and the fucking stewardess is singing “Oh Danny Boy” for the fifth time. Ridiculous! Fortunately, we made it into McCarran safely.

-After waiting for the non-existent “airport shuttle” from the hotel for half an hour, Grant and I finally caught a cab to the hotel. Upon our arrival at the hotel, we found that the room that we were supposed to have stunk. Literally—it smelled like a horse had taken a shit in the room and then had a Yeti rub it into the furniture with his asshole. We called the front desk, and they sent up a guy who sprayed air freshener around for about 15 minutes. It made the smell worse. Finally, we said “fuck it” and waited for Org and Sweeney to arrive.

-Org and Sweeney got to the hotel about an hour later. They told us a story about their cab ride that ended with them getting thrown out of the cab on the shoulder of the highway and the cabbie screaming at them in Russian. I don’t remember how they finally got to the hotel, but they did somehow. Because you could still bring liquids onto planes at the time, we all had bottles of “coke” or “sprite” that may or may not have had “bourbon” or “gin” in them. We started drinking a TON.

-We took a cab to the strip. Because we were coming at it from the south, we ended up starting at Mandalay Bay, then moving to MGM. We naively looked for $5 tables, even though the lowest minimums on New Years were pretty much universally $25. My, how far we’ve come since then…

-While at the MGM, I put down a $10 futures bet on the Cards to win the Series at 6-to-1. Not the best odds, but I just had a feeling about it.

-We saw New Year’s at one of the entrances to the MGM, though we were starting to feel the full effects of the booze starting to kick in. It was really something else, from what I remember of it.

-Desperately in search of at least $10 tables, we went through the South Strip hierarchy of hotels: Mandalay, MGM, NYNY, Luxor, Tropicana, and Excalibur. A few highlights:

-At New York, New York, we found the perfect “drink spot”—the place right by where all of the waitresses come out (at the time) had a bunch of nickel slots and video poker machines nearby, and every time a waitress came in to get more drinks, she’d offer to get us another one. Even on New Years. We thought we had died and gone to heaven—and no, that’s not because of the bullets that were raining down nearby.

-The Lux is a dive. Period.

-Outside of Tropicana, they had a bunch of tall concrete barriers separating the (closed-off) street from the casino entrance. Being the idiots that we were, we jumped them. Of course, being a bit inebriated, I fell right on my elbow and felt a “pop.” Though it didn’t hurt too badly at the time, I knew that it wasn’t going to be good for business. Org tells me that I spent the rest of the night screaming out, “I’M GOING TO FUCKING SUE TROP FOR ALL THEY’VE GOT!” Good times, good times…

-Excal—yikes. Even on New Years, you can put expensive make-up on a cheap whore, but at the end of the day, she’s still just a cheap whore.

-We ended up going back to Mandalay Bay. Grant and I somehow found ourselves split up from Org and Sweeney, and we were approached by a really hot, young-looking lady, who we immediately suspected was a hooker. She kept yammering on about how we should go to some club in Mandalay Bay. Then she asked us, “Where are you guys staying?” Now we knew she was a hook. Without giving us time to respond, she continued, “I bet you’re staying here at the Mandalay Bay, aren’t you?” I looked at Grant, he said to me, “we’ve got to get the fuck out of here,” and we high tailed it the fuck out of there.

-The rest of the night is kind of a blur, though it was capped off by Org’s extremely loud booting session in the john back at the hotel room. I mean, he sounded like one of the hounds of hell had a hairball stuck in his throat. It was a “wail-into-a-boot” type noise, if that makes sense. Just awful.

-The next morning, in addition to the awful smell already in the room, the added, pleasant aroma of vomit really completed the atmosphere inside that hellhole. My elbow was throbbing and killing me, but what the fuck could I do about it? Org was a mess. Grant wasn’t much better. Even Sweeney had gotten pretty drunk the night before. Whatever. Fuck it. We caught the first cab that we could find to check in at Mirage.

-Mirage is a nice place—though it is starting to get a bit dated, it still is a fine hotel. That’s all I have to say about that.

-New Year’s Day was a Sunday, which in Vegas can only mean one thing—NFL betting. Grant and I put down a three-team parlay, with the Skins, the Niners, and one other team to cover.

-The third team covered early, so it was up to the Skins and the Niners. We watched the Skins game like it was a new episode of Lost. With 5:00 to go, they were up by 4, and the spread was something like 8, and the other team had the ball. We thought we were totally fucked—the Skins should just stop them and sit on the ball to run out the clock.

Well, out of nowhere, Sean Taylor forces a fumble on defense and takes the ball to the house! Grant and I are going nuts! Sean Taylor instantaneously earned a special place in both of our hearts with that one.

-Almost on cue, the Skins game goes to a game-break showing the Texans missing a field goal, and the Niners hitting one to win the game, giving us both winners. We are going fucking insane! $155 on a $10 investment is a pretty good deal.

-That night, we decided to go to Ghost Bar over at the Palms to celebrate. Ghost Bar is supposed to be this hip, hot nightclub atop one of the towers at the Palms. What we didn’t realize was that Org, Grant and I (Sweeney has a girlfriend), guys who are still in school and don’t have too much cash (yet) aren’t terribly marketable in that environment.

-We approached a group of girls who tolerated us for a while, but as soon as they found out that we didn’t “have jobs,” they bolted. We tried to chat up some others, but we were K’ing more than Scott Rolen with these girls.

-This entire time, Sweeney wasn’t really digging it. Any time we would try to talk to a group of chicks, and they asked him a question, he would always give a “yes” or “no” answer. Even if it was something like, “where are you from?”

-We finally left, somewhat dejected. However, the situation quickly turned as we started joking about how we were “on fire” at Ghost Bar and how we “tore it up there.” It becomes a running joke for the rest of the trip, and future Vegas trips.

-I think we spent the rest of that night more towards the middle strip, at places like TI and Mirage. It was generally good times.

-The third night was somewhat unspectacular, from what I remember. The lady checking us in at NYNY was a bit of a bitch. There’s kind of the unwritten rule in Vegas that you only pay for two people in each room, but they’ll give you as many keys as you ask for, because, you know, the casino doesn’t really give a fuck, as long as you’re all gambling. Well, this was the first time where the old lady actually questioned us, and I was shocked. We only had two keys for 4 guys. Luckily, I was going to leave that night late to attend a firm reception in St. Louis.

-From what I remember, we just got bombed and walked around the South Strip all night. At one point, Grant was flirting with the drink girl at NYNY, even using the “when do you get off?” line, to which he got a response, “6:00 am.” It was just like Swingers, but Grant didn’t bite. Oh well…

-Other than that, I got pretty drunk that night. My flight was at like 5 am to get back to St. Louis. I remember downing one last shot of Beam in the hotel room at like 3:00, and then (somehow) they let me on the plane at McCarran, despite my…er…”disheveled” appearance at the time. Having learned my lesson from the last flight home, I took a window seat and just passed out for 3 ½ hours. It was nice.

That’s about it. I’m sure Grant and Org have another story or 2 if they want to remind me. Sweenes might, too, though by the end of the trip he was in a bit of a mood. Anyway, stay tuned for the infinitely more entertaining “Vegas Archives 3”—coming soon.

Questions? Comments? Ways we can make this thing better? E-mail the BlogMogger team at