Friday, November 23, 2007

College Football Update

A few gin-fueled observations from the college games today, and a few notes in anticipation of The Big One tomorrow in K.C.:

-Darren McFadden is awesome. He’s a damned good running back, and he played quarterback better than that Dick they have back there half the time (seriously, the guy’s name is Dick. Check it out.) I thought he was Adrian Peterson Lite, but now I don’t see any way this guy isn’t the first pick in the draft next year. Let’s go ahead and set up the board as I currently have it:

1. Darren McFadden, RB Arkansas.

2. Umm…

OK, fine, I have some work to do. Still, this guy is badass…

-The carriage finally turned into a pumpkin for LSU. Les Miles has been playing it fast-and-loose all year long, and he finally got bit…on a two point conversion…which would have tied the game…in the third overtime. It was apparent by the end that Arkansas could score at will with McFadden lining up everywhere but at center. LSU looked up to matching them for a while, but never underestimate Matt Flynn’s penchant for sucking.

-What the fuck does this game mean for everyone else? I’m not sure. All I know is if Mizzou beats KU tomorrow and West Virginia somehow ends up #1, I will not be a happy man. I guess it means that it brings us one step closer to a potential Mizzou-Ohio State championship game, which is fine by me. Of course, it could also set up a much anticipated rematch of the 1998 insight.com bowl, which featured Mizzou’s Corby Jones trading passes with some guy named Marc Bulger for the Mountaineers (by the way: Mizzou won).

-Not impressed by the Pac 10. I watched the ASU-USC game for about 2 ½ quarters. I stopped because I really don’t care about two programs that are dirtier than a Hustler in a mud puddle. Still, Booty is awful, ASU was overrated, I mean, not much to like.

-Much less impressed with the Big Ten. OSU looked AWFUL against Illinois, which Mizzou beat in week 1. All the more reason to want them to play Mizzou in the title game.


-The SEC title game just got a little more important. Now Georgia or Tennessee will be able to go in for the KO against LSU, who almost certainly wouldn’t make a BCS bowl if they lose the SEC title. It will be an interesting week next week, to say the least.

-Prediction for tomorrow: Mizzou 41, KU 21. You heard it here first.

Questions? Comments? Sick of random drunken ramblings (talk to Jamie) about sports (talk to me)? E-mail the BlogMogger team at Blogmogger@yahoo.com.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Quick Movie Reviews--Thanksgiving Eve

I'm bored right now watching every movie that's on HBO on Demand, so here's another edition of "Quick Movie Reviews." As usual, the grading scale is explained here.

The Departed: A. An incredibly solid, entertaining movie. Even though Matt Damon has played a brilliant smart-ass from Southy dozens of times, it still works. Also, there are more headshots than the trash can at the William Morris talent agency. Good flick.

Half Nelson: D+. Grant loves this movie. I hate it. Where's the fucking story? Listen, if you're a film snob, you'll probably love this movie because it "raises important social issues," "has no point," and "makes you want to kill yourself." I say stay away.

Mr. Brooks: F. Flat F. I think it got the record for quickest hook we've ever given a movie. You think it can't get any worse, then Dane Cook shows up 15 minutes in. What a disaster. Let's move on...

Miracle: A. What a great film. If you're a hockey fan (and if you're reading this, you're probably not) this is a fucking awesome movie all the way around. I still get chills even when I watch it on DVD on my buddy Jimmy's TV with the sound turned down. Now THAT'S saying something.

American Gangster: C+/B-. Admittedly a pretty good movie, it just tries too hard to paint the dichotomy between and "bad ass crime boss who is the consummate family man," and, "noble cop who's a shitty family man." Even though the ending is true, it also seems a bit implausible. To be fair, the 2:40 went by very quickly.

Inside Man: B+/A-. I thought this movie was just OK the first time around, probably because I was tired and blasted out of my mind. On a re-viewing, it is one of the most well-written scripts I've ever watched, with plenty of fantastic one-liners. No wonder so many big-time male stars (Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster) were lining up to be in this one.

American Psycho: A/A+. A fantastic social commentary that many people don't even get. Because of this, people look at you like an asshole when you're laughing most of the way through the movie. Do me a favor, don't take yourself so seriously, then watch it again and get back to me.

Talladega Nights: C+. I really didn't like it half as much as Anchorman. For some reason, that John C. Reilly really pisses me off, yet most people love him. Oh, and, note to Will Farrell--it's not funny to prance around acting like a hoosier for 100 minutes. If you need proof, I'll give you a tour around certain parts of South St. Louis County sometime.

Kingpin: A. Upon a re-watch, there are so many funny/good lines in there that people should quote more often. One example: after Munson cleans up before the big tourney and is throwing up in the john, Ishmael asks him, "Have you been drinking again," to which Munson replies, "No, I don't get sick when I drink. I get sick when I don't." Also, Bill Murray's portrayal of "Big" Ernie McCracken is probably his finest performance. And finally...

Dumb and Dumber: A+. One of the all-time greats. Jamie and I re-watched this one recently, and about 15 minutes in, Jamie says, "I bet there are 50 lines in this movie that people still quote." After finishing it, that estimate is clearly low. There are so many lines that people don't even realize that they're referencing in it that it astonishes me. All I have to say is watch it again. It is a tutorial in comedy.

Questions? Comments? Think I'm just some pimply-faced projection jockey at the local AMC? E-mail the BlogMogger team at blogmogger@yahoo.com.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Airing of Grievances: Vol. 1

As you may have gathered from my Random Ramblings posts, I can get easily agitated at times with certain aspects of our society and certain assholes who live in it. My Mom has always told me that expressing my emotions is healthy so I figured I'd share with the loyal Mog audience some things that annoy, pester, irritate and generally vex me. Here it is, the initial edition of "Airing of Grievances" (a Festivus tradition):

- Tip jars next to the register at places where you have to stand in line. Tips are meant for those who provide good personal service. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for rewarding a job well done by waiters/waitresses, valets, and bellboys, I just don't think that the burrito guy at Chipotle is in the same category.

- people that use the word "chillax"

- anyone who mentions how much they have to pay to fill up their gas tank or how many miles per gallon their car gets. I don't think anyone has ever walked away from a conversation thinking they are better off for having acquired this information. (exception if you are considering buying the same car).

- gumball machines that have all the same color gumballs. Where's the fun in that?

- people who take the first bite of my food or the first sip of my drink. Same for those who take a sip of my mixed drink, make a face and say "that's disgusting!" (unless you respond "that's disgustingly strong, how can you drink that?" which sadly I take as a compliment.)

- anyone who uses IM slang when actually speaking to another human being, such as lol or ttyl

- fortune cookies that contain advice instead of actual fortunes. For example, "Life is short. Approach each new day with a smile." It's a nice sentiment but after a bowl of Hot&Sour and a plate of General Tso's chicken I'm looking for a prediction, not inspiration or observation.

- people who say "that's life" after you tell them a story of how you got fucked on something. I don't mind "shit happens," at least that has some anger behind it.

- people in doctors' offices who don't flip the magazine they were reading back to the front cover. It takes two seconds and allows those who are still waiting for the "call-up" to assess their options much more easily. Be a good citizen, flip to the front. (Side note: You gotta love the people that leave the crossword half finished. For some reason when I use their clues to get the blank ones, I feel better about society.)

- people who say they aren't hungry but then ask for a slice of pizza when it comes. Everyone has a friend like this, and they are almost always the one vote that causes that extra pie not to get ordered. I know this sounds insane, but just wait until the next time you plan on getting 3 slices during a football game and you only get 2. Just wait.

Misery loves company so if there is anything you want to get off your chest, feel free to post a comment or email blogmogger@yahoo.com

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Fuck the Writers' Strike

For all of you loyal Friends of the Mog who have been following the only kind of news that seems to matter these days—entertainment news—you might be aware that those fat-cat Hollywood writers are apparently now on strike.

Now, normally, I’m all for the age-old American tradition of ruining entertainment options over petty labor squabbles between millionaires. Shit, I am a baseball fan, after all. Unfortunately, in my 3L year, watching TV is probably priority number two on my list, sandwiched comfortably between “softball” and “sleeping,” so any disruption in the schedule will cause holy hell to erupt in our apartment.

What was most troubling was an article that I read on ew.com that went through and stated which shows were “safe” for their midseason returns. The headline mentioned something about “Lost” being safe from this ugly strike business. For those newcomers aboard the BlogMogger bandwagon, some of us are fairly big “Lost” fans, so this was a bit of a relief for me.

Then I read the article.

Apparently, they only have 6 episodes of the next season “in the can” right now. 6 episodes? Out of 18? How then, good sir, is “Lost” in any way “safe” from the strike? Sure, we might get 1/3 of a season, but that’s not good enough, damnit! I ALREADY WAITED THIS LONG, MOTHERFUCKERS! I NEED MY PRECIOUS LOST! THE THOUGHT OF LOST COMING BACK IS THE ONLY THING THAT WARMS MY COLD, DARK HEART AT NIGHT! DAMN YOU WRITERS!

Sorry about that. At any rate, I decided to come up with a list of things to do in case this strike cancels the upcoming TV season.

-Study

HA! Next!

-Play more videogames

This is somewhat more appealing. Jamie and I are in about year 15 of an epic NCAA Football franchise on Xbox 360 right now. I’ll spare you the details for fear that we might come off as “frightening” or “lunatics,” but needless to say, we’re pret-ty, pret-ty, pret-ty good. Halo 3 was fun, but way too short. That game where you can slow down time and shoot bad guys with their own guns looks kind of cool. Other than that, I might have to buckle down and finally buy a Wii, if I can ever find one of the little bastards…

-Play Board Games with Friends

A fine alternative, though I’ve seen few things that can turn a nice, friendly, amicable relationship sour than a contentious game of Monopoly or Risk, especially when one of your buddies tries to break out the old, ‘well, that’s how we play the game in MY house…” Yeah, well, guess what, asshole? I don’t see your mommy and daddy here to let you win like they always did “in YOUR house,” so shut the fuck up and play like a fucking adult WITH THE REAL FUCKING RULES!

-Take up a Hobby

Another fine alternative. I tried to play the guitar once and failed miserably. Maybe if I tried again with more intensity and dedication, I could make it work this time. Of course, it is actually far easier and more fun to play “Guitar Hero,” which gets me back to the videogames thing again. Whatever. Fuck it.

-Write More Columns for This Site

Hey, come on! I’ve been busy, people! Fu Man Wu wrote some excellent hockey columns. What more do you want from me?

But hockey sucks!

You know something? YOU SUCK.

-Go on a DVD Shopping Spree

I’ve strongly considered this, especially with the complete “Seinfeld” collection coming out. If Larry Sanders Season 2 is out, then this option could get expensive in a hurry…

-Really Get into UVA Basketball

We’re supposed to be pretty good this year, and hey, it IS the ACC. Still, I really can’t get into college basketball until tourney time.

-Get a Life

HA! Next!

-Enjoy the Company of Friends While Discussing Important Social and Political Issues

Too sappy/serious.

-Well…then…um…what was that thing about videogames again?

Yeah, I liked that one too.

Questions? Comments? Think all work and no play make DJGel a dull boy? E-mail the BolgMogger team at blogmogger@yahoo.com.