I’m sure that Friends of the Mog have scrutinized Big Baby’s “Jimmy McNulty” article to death by this point. I’m sure it’s a great article, even though I don’t watch the Wire and thus have no fucking clue who the fuck “Jimmy McNulty” is—quite frankly, he sounds like one of Bill Simmons’ made-up friends from Boston. However, I thought it was about time that we pushed it down the page a bit and tried a novel concept called “fresh content.” Shall we?
Since I couldn’t come up with one really coherent column idea, I’m stealing from any number of great writers and doing a little stream-of-consciousness bit I like to call…ASSORTED MUSINGS!
-To the gentleman at my workplace who leaves the Wall Street Journal in the stall in the men’s room—thank you. Rest assured that you have brightened up at least one other person’s day just a bit when he discovers that treasure waiting for him—it’s Jim in accounting, and he won’t shut the fuck up about it.
-I’m with everyone else who says that the word “hero” is thrown around too often in this day and age, but America did lose a true hero today when Socks the Cat finally lost her (his? Socks isn’t the manliest name in the book for a cat) battle with cancer that had the nation on edge this past week. Sh…err…he…fuck…it? Yeah, let’s go with “it” was “probably either 19 or 20 years old.” And I swear to God this story got top billing on CNN.
-Speaking of Socks, it reminds me of one of my favorite Larry Sanders episodes. Fast forward to the 4:00 mark in this link. You won’t be disappointed.
-Moving on to LOST, this season has been ramping UP…that is, until Wednesday’s episode. [SPOILER ALERT!!! SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS WEEK’S EPISODE YET.] All of the time travelling has been pretty awesome. As my friends already know, I’m a total sucker for anything involving either 1) Alien Invasions, or 2) Time Travel (well…except “Life on Mars.” Never really saw the appeal). This season of LOST has not disappointed to date. I keep talking with ½ Man ½ Am-Asian about doing a reunion LOST column, but it might have to wait until mid-season. I just want to clear up a few things. First, many of the contributors to this very site can confirm that I totally called Lapidus as the pilot of Flight 316. After all, he was supposed to fly the original plane, then got roped in with the Freighter people. HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE ON THAT FUCKING ISLAND, GODDAMNIT!!! Second, that’s twice, for those counting at home, that Jin has surprised the fuck out of us this year. Third, this episode was really, really awful for the first half. Way, way too much L.A. stuff, Mrs. Hawking lost a lot of her mystique, and a lot of just bullshit (Who the fuck is Ray? Oh, Jack’s grandpa. Fucking great. ) I thought it would have been great after Mrs. Hawking told Jack that “something of his father’s needs to be in that coffin,” if Jack just went to get Locke’s body, opened the casket, took out a bottle of single malt scotch, and just poured the whole fucking thing in. That would’ve been classic. The obvious turning point of the episode was when Ben called Jack all bloody after he made some cryptic remark the night before—that really started everything. Still, tons of questions remain. Where is Aaron? My guess—Kate just straight up forgot about him. That seems about right for Kate. How did Sayid get in the cuffs? Who knows? He’s only COMMITTED 50 FUCKING MURDERS ALL OVER THE WORLD THE PAST 3 YEARS!!! WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY BRING HIM IN ON?!? Why did the 3 most annoying people on the show end up near each other on the island? And why didn’t Kate die? That would’ve been nice—I’m so sick of Kate. If you need a reason, watch the Evangeline Lilly “Crew Tribute” on the Season 3 DVD Special Features. Aside from calling everyone a “propmaster,” you get the feeling people wouldn’t give two shits if she was written out of the show. OK, I’m done. Apologize for the long paragraph, but if you go back to the beginning of it, you’ll see I made a promise to an old friend. TIME LOOP! LOST!
-OK, and we’re back. The Rams should take Michael Crabtree with the second pick. This is ridiculous how after he measured out at 6’ 1” today people are saying how he’ll drop. Does an inch really make that much difference? Even in height? This is classic Terrell Suggs revisionist history going on here. If he does drop, some team will end up getting a Pro Bowl wideout—just you watch.
-Finally got a new computer. It is fantastic. I would highly recommend a new i7 processor—they are fucking BLAZING. I’m sure a bunch of you need a new computer. I’m just sayin’…
-Wow, A Rod on steroids? Who would’ve thought? As Daisy Fuentes might say in that old Radio Shack commercial, “A Rod, you are so busted!” I guess he did the right thing by admitting it. As I was telling G-Gel Unit, it was the first non-cowardly thing he’s done…well…ever.
-And finally, since no one cares, the St. Louis Blues are putting together a nice little run toward the playoffs here. Chris Mason has been on fire, and Andy McDonald’s return ahs really sparked the team. If only Coach Andy Murray would play many of their exciting young players over career AHLers and has-beens, then this team could really fly.
That’s all for now. See you again, hopefully before 3 months this time.
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